| League match | ||||||
| SUN 11 NOV, 2pm | Denton Town | 5 | v | 2 | Manchester Stingers | |
Scorers
Victoria Smith (30, pen 87)
Player of the Match
?
Match Report
In the same way that big swirly colourful lollipops lure
you into the dentist’s chair, Jinny’s sweet
and rather southernly posho voice coaxed me into writing
the match report again. I feel I must issue a caveat, as
one possessing an ego the size of China, I will occasionally
go off on a tangent about myself. But I’m sure you’re
used to that by now. Okay, down to business.
On possibly the most bitterly cold morning of the year, the mighty Yellows arrived at Denton with memories of a 9-1 thrashing by Denton in a pre-season friendly in the fore of everyone’s minds. In true Hollihead fashion, Shelley was unfashionably late. That wouldn’t have been so bad had she not been giving the kit a lift as well. As we sat freezing our little toes off in the changing room, we built up some confidence by having a little sing-a-long around the convector heater. Team favourites were “I believe I can fly”, and Jane’s squeaky rendition of heartthrob sexpot Leona’s Bleeding Love.
So finally, kits on and boots polished, we hit the rather
soggy and sticky pitch to regain some pride after the 9-1
mauling. The Stingers started, as per usual, very strongly
and with vast amounts of confidence, sending the Denton
players into a right frenzy. Ten minutes in, the Yellow
midfielders linked up with some pretty play, Jinny ran down
the right wing with hair-raising speed, and slotted a beautiful
cross on the ground into the box. Irish Nic did a little
Irish jig, leaving the defenders befuddled, and with a touch
as light as a feather, flicked it on to me, and I met it
with a ferocious patent blue boot (patent shoes are back
in fashion, didn’t ya know). Denton’s keeper
was up to the task and managed to get a shoulder to it to
deflect it out for a clearance. Calm play from the back
four of Shelly, Helen, Rhianne and Fingers did a stellar
job of breaking down unrelenting attacks from the pacy Denton
forwards. Several times in the game I heard someone say “How
the hell do they do that? We just can’t get past them!” Too
damn right.
Well, too damn right until a rather lovely ball over the
heads of the back four and some quick flash running from
the forward left Jane exposed to a one-on-one, a duel which
she was destined to lose as the forward coolly finished
and left Jane picking the ball out of the back of the net.
Feeling rather energized by that bit of action, Jane went
on to make some superb saves to keep the score line respectable.
More battling play from the Yellows saw some good passing
between Jo and Vicky, and on to Kerry on the left wing.
Breakthrough was getting closer. Jinny managed to get the
ball on her own in the box, and whipped it towards goal.
I leapt up in the air to help guide it in, but the Denton
keeper got a hand to it and deflected it just out of reach.
How gutted was I. Very. Soon after, Denton added a second
in similar fashion to the first, but the Stingers showed
no signs of panic, and shortly before half time a Stingers
corner was poorly cleared out to Vicky “Scholes”,
who did the business with a fierce volley into the bottom
left corner. As the ball zoomed past me at a speed faster
than Shelley’s Lamborghini on the Autobahn, I swear
I heard it sigh with what sounded like a re-enactment of
that famous diner scene in When Harry met Sally. 2-1 and
the Yellow’s were back in the game.
A quick half time talk sent the Stingers back onto the pitch with belief that we could take all three points, or at least, one. In my head I could hear R. Kelly bellowing on about running through open doors and touching skies and what not. What a weirdo. Anyway, the second half looked pretty similar to first, apart from when Denton managed to somehow come back stronger than us and increase the tally to 4-1 in quick succession. More end-to-end football ensued, and on 60 minutes I heard a deafening creak, which so happened to be my left knee (AGAIN), and I signalled to Coach for a sub. On came Vicky Blue Eyes to fill my patent blue boots. And fill them well she did. A little bit of pushing and shoving, and one or two cases of eyelash batting resulted in nada. Nat came on to further fortify the defence, but from nowhere Denton scored again and made it 5-1. Irish Nic performed another set of mesmerizing Irish jigs and got taken out by a jealous leprechaun in the opposition box. PENALTY!! And who but Scholesy stepped up to make it 5-2.
All in all a valiant performance from the Yellows, proving that pre-match sing-a-longs are the way forward. Next week we host AFC Urmston at the Range. Get ya thermals on and come watch some lovely pins on display.
P.S., dressing room theme tune suggestions to be sent to DJ MC Laff-Lin a.ka. Kerry (Fiki fiki ah).
Aisha Hayatuddini