| League match | ||||||
| SUN 16 MAR, 2pm | Manchester Stingers | 0 | v | 3 | Fletcher Moss Rangers | |
Player of the Match
Shelly Hollihead
Match Report
Don't be fooled, this week's report has been written by Eve Talbot:
Hi there I am Gary Lineker and this is Match of the Day, we will be
reviewing the match between the global phenomenon that is the Manchester
Stingers WFC against the league leaders Fletcher Moss.
The game was played out in fairly cold and windy conditions at Stingers
Home ground at Kings road.
The first 5 mins bore a cautious opening to the game, Alan what do
you think
Hansen – Aye both teams looked tentative from the start, although stingers
looked a bit more confident compared to the previous outing against Fletcher
moss.
Lawrenson – Stirling Moss ? ... Wasn’t he a racing car driver?
Errm yes Mark but this is Fletcher moss but thanks for the input. After about
15 mins of fairly scrappy play Fletcher Moss get the goal, some good wing play
saw the cross converted and its 0-1.
Arsene what did you think of the goal ?
Wenger – Yez eet was a good goal for ze Stingers.
It was Flether Moss that scored Arsene
Wenger – Ahhh no I did not ze ze goal but I am sure it was offside.
Lawrenson – Does anyone alse think the kits a nice shade of yellow
OHHH KKK Mark thanks for that, The game has turned a bit on the rough side after
that and we saw a few hefty challenges going in from the Fletcher Moss side,
Moran and Brown look overworked in midfield but Hollihead and Davies defend well
and we are also seeing some good play from Barmbrook who was making her season
Debut after returning from overseas.
Hansen – Aye the girl looked sharp considering
Lawrenson – I like her hair
Hansen – Eh
Ok back to the action and a shot by Smith glides just wide of the post. After
35 mins an overstretch by Taylor see’s her leave the pitch to get some
attention, While she is off the ptch and Stingers are down to 10 men Fletcher
Moss score again 0-2.
Arsene what did you think of the Goal.
Wenger – zey cheat zey did not wait for taylor to get back on the peeetch
.
Well the ref didn’t stop the game so they were allowed to play on they
followed the rules
Wenger – I do not care zey cheat and i am right, I did not ze ze goal but
i vink it was and ball.
Wrighty what did you think of the goal
Wright – Ian Wright Wright Wright
What ?
Wright – Nowt geezer just singing but seriously how could Harris not pick
little Shawnie it’s a travesty.
Well Wrighty that’s because Shaun Wright Phillips is ineligible to play
in the Woman’s league.
Wright – See what I mean brother always picking on us, It’s not on,
It’s not like I am biased or anything it just he is amazing, not playing
today could affect our sponsorship with sony, now what I mean bruv.
Ermm Wrighty please don’t mention sponsors thank you.
Ok so we are in the Final minutes of the first half and the injured Taylor has
been replaced by Bennett on the wing, hopefully the injury is not too serious
although stingers are without a scheduled game for a few weeks. Ooohh a nice
through ball from Poitier but nobody gets on the end of it and the Ref blows
for half time.
So while I interest anyone in a Walkers Salt and Vinegar crisp what did everyone
think of the game.
Hansen – Aye well it’s a game of two halves and it’s all been
a bit swings and roundabouts, around six of one and half a dozen of the other,
Fletcher moss are a young team and you can’t win trophies with kids, and
if the Stingers can score three goals they will get the 3 points, It’s
as simple as that.
Lawrenson – What aftershave are you wearing Gary it smells really nice,
I might try it.
Ermm that would be Davidoff, Cool Water Mark
Lawrenson – hmmmm
Shearer - I prefer Brut !! Smell it its nice
Lawrenson – hmmmmm
Shearer – On to the game and I think If Stingers can keep composed and
create a few chances they could still be in with a shout, They need to defend
the flanks and try and get a cross on to smith’s head, A goal would be
crucial at this stage
Lawrenson – I don’t know who is more boring you or Lineker.
Wright – Oi you lot put down your Newcastle browns and give us a game on
the Wii.
Ok while the children play I think it is about time to get back to the Action.
A promising start and Stingers are retaining more of the possession and Ursell
and Bennett make some good runs down the wing . Kevin what do you think is needed.
Keegan – When you do that with footballers like she said about Stingers
and when you do things like that about a woman like Karen Harris, I'm... I...
I've kept really quiet but I'll tell you something: she went down in my estimation
when she said that. We have not resorted to that. But I'll tell ya, you can tell
her now, she'll be watching it: we're still fighting for this title and she's
got to go to Denton and get something and... and... I'll tell ya... honestly...
I will luv it if we beat them. Luv it."
Alright calm down Kev you’ve gone a bit red
Oooh now that was a nasty challenge on Ursell, a bit high I think.
Wenger – CHEATS zey are CHEATERS shee should be banned from ze game
Well it looks like Ursell will be coming off with a dead leg and will be replaced
by Pocket. Fletcher Moss are pushing forward again but another good tackle by
Mclaughlin and some tidy play by Hollihead see the danger averted. Let’s
see what special guest Eric Cantona has to say.
Cantona – well ven ze Ball flys through the green pastures of the void
ve call space like an asteroid only the martians may stop it from reaching its
vinal destination.
WTF !!!! erm yes great Eric thanks.
Ok a third substitution and Lomas comes on for Poitier who has worked hard all
game.
Hanson – I think the pace of Lomas may trouble Fletcher Moss a bit but
it’s all down to technique.
Fletcher Moss have worked up a great move again and they score 0-3.
Hanson – Aye you could see it coming and I can’t see Stingers coming
back from this.
Wenger – vat append I did not ze ze goal.
Wright – I don’t care bruv Shaunie aint playin.
Lawrenson – OOOHHHH.
Ok so while we close out the last few minutes lets vote for man of the match.
Hansen – Without a doubt Hollihead for me, Calm Calculating Composed C..
C.. strong.
Shearer – I have to agree with Alan on that one
Wright – I’d have to go for Shaun WRIGHT Phillips
Excuse me Mark why have you got your hand up ?
Lawrenson – I wanted to vote for Hollihead
Ok well were not at school, Eric what do you think
Cantona – The Whispers of time rustle echo’s all around us.
Ermm very wise indeed Eric and you Arsene
Wenger - I would like to vote for ze great French player Moran
But she is Irish Arsene
Wenger – Lies itz all lies.
Ok so Hollihead it is for Man of the Match and it’s also full time and
its is a final score of 3-0
Ok I’ll pass you over to Alex Ferguson as Karen Harris refuses to be interviewed
by the BBC.
Ferguson – Well today we were just not good enough although we missed a
key defender and I think if we had got a first half goal the game may have been
different. I think it showed how we have improved tenfold as a team since our
first game against them in the early part of the season. I just hope that we
can pick up a final 6 points in our remaining 2 games and finish strong, I'd
like to know why you always start the sentence with "OK" gary.
OK !!!!
Thank you Alex, Well that just about wraps it up for this week so make sure you
tune in for Match of the Day 2 with Adrian Childes, it’s like this show
only funnier, from me and everyone here good night !!.